Index by Topic

Goslings underfoot - B. King

Click on a number to go to that post:

Powerlessness (Step One) - 1 & 2

Surrender (Step Two) - 1 & 2

Choices (Step Three) - 1 & 2

Inventory (Step Four) - 1 & 2

Honesty (Step Five) - 1 & 2

Intentions (Step Six) - 1 & 2

Hindrances (Step Seven) - 1 & 2 

Willingness (Step Eight) - 1 & 2 

Amends (Step Nine) - 1 & 2

Commitment (Step Ten) - 1 & 2

Prayer and Meditation (Step Eleven) - 1 & 2

Service (Step Twelve) - 1 & 2

Principles:

13) Discernment - 1 & 2

14) Trustworthiness - 1 & 2

15) Compassion and Kindness - 1 & 2

16) Generosity - 1 & 2

17) Humility - 1 & 2

18) Forgiveness - 1 & 2

19) Gratitude - 1 & 2

20) Courage - 1 & 2

21) Faith - 1 & 2

22) Simplicity - 1 & 2

23) Mindfulness - 1 & 2

24) Open-mindedness - 1 & 2

25) Patience - 1 & 2

26) Contentment - 1 & 2

27) Tolerance - 1 & 2

28) Detachment - 1 & 2

29) Acceptance - 1 & 2

30) Equanimity - 1 & 2

Finding Refuge

Satellite image of Hurricane Rita - NOAA

          Before the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, people noticed elephants fleeing to higher ground. Do animals have a sixth sense about natural disasters that cause them to instinctively seek refuge? Scientists speculate the answer is likely that animals can simply use their keen senses more efficiently than humans. Infrasound waves that are too low for people to hear can be picked up by animals. They can also feel the subtle primary wave that occurs before the much larger (and easily felt) secondary wave in earthquakes. Sharks, being highly attuned to changes in air and hydrostatic pressure, have been observed swimming to deeper waters in other areas before a hurricane arrives. In Italy, stress at fault lines caused positive charges that triggered chemical changes in groundwater. Toads suddenly left a breeding pond days before a major earthquake there. Animals are in tune with their environment and pay close attention to what is happening in it, which allows them to find safety when possible.

          Humans can cultivate attention, understanding, and perspective in order to find their own refuge. This sanctuary space is known as equanimity, the ability to stay fully engaged with whatever is happening without getting caught up and thrown off balance. Buddhist psychology distinguishes between feelings and emotions. Primary feelings are a gut-level reaction to what we encounter: pleasant, neutral or painful. A feeling leads to an automatic emotional reaction, a natural part of our biological design. Yet we aren't simply passive recipients of our experience - we shape it with our thoughts. Mindfulness allows us to stay present with our feelings and with what is unfolding instead of getting lost in our stories. Without the filter of how we think things should be, we see with clarity what is happening. Rather than being tossed about in the waves of longing, we move to deeper waters and out of our habitual conditioning. Meditation can train us in awareness and attention, and acceptance can help us understand what we can and can't control. Then equanimity can provide us with the space to see from a larger perspective so that we can respond with wisdom and compassion.

For more information on equanimity, see this post.

Tenderly Holding What Is

Baboon and bush baby -photo by Khalil Senosi

          In the aftermath of the 2004 Asian tsunami, a baby hippo was rescued that had been washed out to sea and separated from its family. Taken to the Kenyan sanctuary at Haller Park, 'Owen' became attached to 'Mzee,' a giant tortoise that resided there. The unusual friendship lasted several years until Owen was ready to be introduced to and socialized with other hippos. In 2011, the Nairobi Animal Orphanage took in an orphaned, three-month-old bush baby. To the surprise of the wildlife wardens, a rescued yellow baboon quickly adopted 'Gakii.' Their relationship was even more unlikely since bush babies are nocturnal and yellow baboons are active during the day. These animals found themselves in less than ideal circumstances without a parent or social group to bond with. The need for companionship required them to accept and connect with an animal much different than normally expected.

          Like the orphaned animals, at times we must deal with unexpected and unwanted circumstances. Acceptance - the willingness to let go of our emotional resistance in order to acknowledge reality - can be of great benefit. Trying not to see the truth (which may include positively reframing it) keeps us in a state of denial. Tara Brach writes that genuine acceptance includes both seeing clearly and holding our experience with compassion. Mindfulness allows us to observe what we refused to look at before. Tenderness permits us to gently hold what we observe without pushing it away. Practicing with small situations can prepare us for accepting more difficult ones. Such acceptance frees previously engaged emotional energy that can be channeled into action or adaptation. 

For more information on acceptance, see this post.

Untangling Emotions

Prairie dog pups - photo by Thibaud Despres

          Animal behaviorist Jennifer Verdolin found that animals have challenges with their offspring just as humans do. For instance, when young prairie dogs begin the weaning process, they can react with impressively dramatic temper tantrums. They throw themselves to the ground, scream, and cry like many two-year-old human kids. Verdolin believes these outbursts are simply a form of manipulation to get the parent to relent. Yet she noticed that most adult animals simply ignored the meltdowns of their little ones. Aggressive, physical discipline was rare and context specific, used only to protect the youngster from imminent, serious harm.
          Unlike animal parents, many humans find it difficult not to get drawn into emotional drama. We fall under the delusion that our involvement means we are being helpful. Buddhist psychology has a concept known as 'near enemies' - habits that closely resemble positive virtues but are actually quite harmful. The near enemy of loving-kindness is attachment; it appears in the form of insecure clinging and the desire to control. The near enemy of compassion is self-absorbed grief; rather than taking any beneficial action, one becomes submerged in the other's feelings. Detachment allows us to recognize when these near enemies are operating in our lives and assess what motivates them. It helps us step back from a situation in order to clarify which of our actions are constructive and which are unhealthy reactions. Detachment teaches us to keep our heart open while not depriving another of learning to live responsibly.

For more information on detachment, see this post.

Adverse Reactions

Photo by Jon Sachs

          In humans, contact with poison ivy often tricks our immune system into thinking our own skin cells are foreign, a reaction that results in an itchy, blistering rash. However, the plant has no ill effects on most wild or domesticated animals. Because of their immunity, several businesses have sprung up that employ goats for clearing such unwanted vegetation. Goats will readily eat poison ivy, including the seeds; none of the seeds are viable after being ground and digested. Although they don't consume the roots, goats used over an extended period will starve the plant of the energy it needs to survive. The added benefit of this goat-based form of brush control is that it avoids the use of herbicides. 

          Tolerance suggests allowing people to pursue their own understanding of truth within the boundaries of the common good ('do no harm'). The medical definition can add a spiritual lens to look through, seeing tolerance as the ability to endure exposure without an adverse reaction. Even when we don't react outwardly, we often react inwardly. Simply gritting our teeth while dealing with people who annoy us can twist us up inside like a tightly wound spring. Rather than stew in frustration, we can drop our agenda and be curious. Imagine what it would be like inside the mind and body of this person. What fears might be motivating them? Instead of judging them harshly, could we make a more charitable assumption based on their past or present suffering? The poet Robert W. Service wrote, "Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in your shoe."

For more information on tolerance, see this post. 

Searching for Nectar that Satisfies

Photo from National Geographic Kids

          What makes a garden desirable to a honey bee? These bees depend on pollen for most of their protein and nectar for carbohydrates in their diet. Single-flowered blooms (like daisies and marigolds) produce much more pollen and nectar than the showier double-flowered blooms (in which stamens have been transformed into extra petals). Hybridized plants aren’t as beneficial because they produce very little pollen or nectar. Honey bees are especially attracted to white, blue, yellow and violet blooms, as well as flowers with a shorter corolla (which makes it easier to reach the nectar). These bees will only visit a single type of flower on each trip from the hive (a trait known as ‘floral fidelity’), so they often seek out patches of identical flowers. 

          In Zen Buddhism, it is said that there are five desires: for food, for sex, for sleep, for comfort, and for reputation. These desires are natural and driven by our instinct to survive. Yet often these desires get mistakenly fused with a longing for happiness, and we become obsessed with them. This craving convinces us if we can just get this particular thing, life will be wonderful and perfect. Even when we do manage to get what was desired, we soon realize we’ve expended a lot of energy for a short-lived pleasure. The sage Shantideva likened this behavior to an ox that pulls a heavy load for only a mouthful of hay. The solution to ending this cycle of suffering is not to eliminate our desires but to change our relationship to them. If we can see through the fantasy of ‘happy ever after,’ we can enjoy moments of pleasure without expectations. As Ezra Bayda explained, “happiness comes from the inside; it cannot depend on our external life circumstances. Nor can it depend on simply feeling good emotionally. In short, happiness doesn’t come from making happiness the goal – it comes from being able to appreciate the journey, particularly the present-moment experience of our life.”

For more information on contentment, see this post.

Resting without Resistance

Grackles - photo by Stephen J. Krasemann

          The common grackle is a large blackbird with bright yellow eyes and iridescent feathers that may have a purple, green or blue sheen. They tend to congregate in large, noisy groups and make calls that sound like rusty hinges on a gate. Grackles are opportunistic feeders and will eat almost anything they can find. They often frequent backyard feeders, where bird watchers can observe an interesting behavior known as bill tilting. The grackles will tilt their heads up and point their bills skyward. The more dominant the bird, the more upward is the tilt of the bill. According to Robert Flicken of the Cornell Lab of Ornithology, this is an adaptive behavior in a species where there is close contact among individuals. The precision of their expression through such posturing serves to reduce aggressive fighting and stress.

          When we are impatient, we have become rigidly bound to our expectations. Whether we experience the pull of want or the push of aversion, the feeling is the same – restless irritation that quickly morphs into frustrated anger. Motivated by a strong desire to resolve this feeling, we react aggressively, which usually just escalates the situation. The practice of patience has nothing to do with the suppression of feelings or inaction. Rather, it is the recognition that there is a right time to act and a time to wait. It is the ability to relate to those waiting moments with kindness and gentleness. Patience allows everyone to relax, both the person practicing it and those around them. The pause of patience can give us the chance to look at the situation from another viewpoint other than our own. In the words of Gil Fronsdal, “It is the willingness to see deeply, without resistance, the truth of the moment.” The pause creates the opportunity for us to be mindful of our thoughts before we respond, allowing us to de-escalate our aggression both internally and externally.

For more information about patience, see this post.

Don't Know Mind

Venus flytrap - photo by Chris Mattison

          Adaptation is the process that helps living things change in order to survive in their environment. An example is the Venus flytrap. This plant from the subtropical wetlands of the Carolinas wasn’t always a carnivorous snap-trap. It was once a plant with somewhat sticky leaves that were intended to deter damage from insects. But in its native location, the soil was nutrient-poor. The insects which got stuck on its leaves contained nitrogen and phosphorus, and so the flytrap adapted its sticky enzymes to immobilize and digest the bugs. Yet the plant could not capture larger insects, and open leaves meant birds or other animals could steal their meal. Eventually, the Venus flytrap evolved trigger hairs, a closing trap with teeth, and quick movement to adjust and improve its chances of survival.

          Imagine gathering the grains of sand from all the beaches and deserts of the world together. If these grains signify all of the accurate knowledge in the universe, how many grains would represent our own individual knowledge? Perhaps one grain? This analogy is similar to the Zen teaching of ‘Don’t Know Mind,’ the realization that no matter how much we know, there is infinitely more we don’t. Don’t Know Mind frees us from our limited, stale ideas and concepts; it includes all the potential wisdom contained in the universe. We can cease our intellectual contortions and stay open to other possibilities. This state of being curious and teachable should be distinguished from doubt and confusion, which cloud rather than clarify. It doesn’t require that we discard what we know and suspend our questions and interpretations. As Gil Fronsdal explained, “Not-knowing means not being limited by what we know, holding what we know lightly so that we are ready for it to be different.” This type of open-mindedness can help us adjust and evolve in a world of uncertainty.

For more information on open-mindedness, see this post.

Clear Awareness

Closed jack pine cones - photo by Joseph O'Brien

          Most tree species disperse their seeds via wind, water or animals. Yet for some trees, the release of seeds is delayed until a specific environmental trigger is present (a process known as serotiny). In the case of some coniferous trees - such as sequoias, jack pines, lodgepole pines and sand pines - that trigger is fire. The seed cones are sealed with resin, which protects them from foraging animals. When a fire sweeps through the forest, fire-resistant bark shields the trunks. The intense heat melts the resin and opens the cone scales so the seeds can be released. The seeds thrive in the nutrient-rich, burnt soil and no longer have competition from other small plants on the forest floor. It wasn't until the 1970s that scientists began to fully understand the importance of fire in the health of a forest ecosystem. 

          Most people believe they can direct and somewhat maintain their attention when necessary. But what generally happens is our attitude toward the object of our attention shapes our experience of it. Like closed cones, we can't see with clarity what is actually there. We color what we perceive with socially conditioned responses and personal habitual reactions. Mindfulness allows us to cultivate a curious and open mind that is aware of what is happening without skewing the facts. As Shunryu Suzuki explained, "We pay attention with respect and interest, not in order to manipulate but to understand what is true." With clear awareness, we begin to notice not only what is around us but our thoughts and feelings as well. When we are conscious of our thoughts and emotions without engaging or suppressing them, they don't automatically trigger reactionary behavior. Jack Kornfield points out that being mindful of these mental states gives us a choice: "whether we want to be imprisoned and stuck or to release the painful states and be healthy." Mindfulness is the fire that opens us to the world, allowing us to relate to life without grasping, pushing away, or ignoring any part of it. 

For more information on mindfulness, see this post.

Engineering Efforts

Storm clouds over a river in Australia - photo by Randy Olson

          According to National Geographic, no other kind of natural disaster in America has caused more death and destruction than floods. A 2007 report by the Organization for Economic and Development found that coastal flooding (when a storm or tsunami causes the sea to surge inland) does $3 trillion in damage a year worldwide. Over recent decades, extremely destructive flooding has been occurring with greater regularity, possibly due to global warming. Most destruction occurs because humans desire to live near the coast or river valleys. In addition, developers often backfill and build on wetlands that would normally act as natural flood buffers. Massive engineering efforts have been aimed at preventing floods through levee systems, dikes, and dams. 

          

Overfilling a vessel is not as good

As stopping before it is filled.

Over-sharpen a blade and it will lose its edge.

~ Tao te Ching

          Wu-wei, a concept in Taoism, is action that does not involve struggle or excessive effort. It is a way to 'keep things simple' instead of over-reacting. This mindset shouldn’t be confused with laziness or procrastination; neither is it motivated by ego-driven goals or desires. In this state, we let go of our opinions about how we think things should be. Instead of forcing our standards onto a situation, we respond to the true demands of it. Wu-wei reminds us that over-doing or going to extremes (emotionally, physically or mentally) is not a better way of doing things. For instance, if our partner or friend says something unkind, we may react by blowing up and saying something equally unkind (overfilling the cup). We could react by giving them the silent treatment and pretending they don’t exist (refusing to fill the cup). Or, we could respond by calmly telling them that what was said hurt our feelings (filling the cup with neither too much nor too little). Instead of trying to engineer selfish wants, we simply respond to what is needed.

For more information on simplicity, see this post.

Run Aground

Beached whales - photo by Anthony Phelps

          Cetacean stranding, commonly known as 'beaching,' is a phenomenon when aquatic mammals strand themselves on land. Up to 2000 of these animals beach themselves each year; most usually die due to dehydration or drown when high tide covers the blowhole. The species most frequently in this predicament are toothed whales (Odontoceti). Strong social cohesion is a key factor. A distress call from one beached whale may prompt the pod to follow, stranding multiple others. Strandings can be attributed to natural factors such as rough weather or weakness due to illness, but another source is manmade. Research has shown a link between cetacean beaching and the use of active sonar by the military.

          

Faith is what happens when our beliefs run aground. Real faith is not a statement of beliefs, but a state of being. ~ Rea Nolan Martin

          Beliefs insist that one's preconceived ideas should define the truth. They reflect a desire for certainty and security. But life doesn't stand still; it constantly changes. During such fluctuation, beliefs may keep us from an accurate perception of reality; they can act as a locked door that impedes clarity and forward movement. When our beliefs 'run aground' in a crisis, we may add more ideas in an attempt to make sense of things, like adding a layer of clay around a broken jug. But perhaps a better way might be to release the tight grip on our beliefs and expose our heart. We could then stop pushing away what we don't like and rest with life as it is. Instead of judgment, we might open to whatever comes. The egoic mind attempts to bypass challenging experiences, but the faith of 'being' grants us the wisdom to live without clinging or resisting.

For more information on faith, see this post.

Making a Leap

Leaping wood ducklings - photo by Stan Tekiela

          Unlike most waterfowl, wood ducks are quite comfortable perching and nesting in trees. Since these ducks can't make their own holes, breeding pairs will search for tree cavities. Generally, these cavities occur when a branch has broken off and the tree's heartwood has rotted. The higher cavities are preferred for a nest site; inside, they can be several feet deep. Ducklings hatch completely alert with a full coat of down. Clinging with the claws on their webbed feet and bracing with their tails, they climb their way to the nest hole entrance a day after hatching. Encouraged by their mother at the bottom of the tree, they leap out, often falling 60 feet. Yet because they are so lightweight, they bounce without hurting themselves when landing. Once all the ducklings have jumped, they follow their mother to the water.
          Courage is an important trait because life is constantly full of challenges. How do we react to unsettling or unexpected news if we have not developed the ability to bravely meet life on life's terms? We often shut down and pull the covers over our head. When that doesn't work, we may lash out in anger. Then we might try manipulation, pretending to adapt while really doing our best to get rid of or fix an unfixable situation. Eventually, we become aware of the futility of our strategies. The seed of courage can begin to grow when we soften our heart and 'be with' rather than reject our experience. We can nurture this seed through new behaviors:

1. Verbally label fearful thoughts as such; thoughts are not the same as reality.
2. Redefine failure; instead of seeing it as not getting what is desired, view it as refusing to adjust to change.
3. Gather factual information from reliable resources to help make informed decisions.
4. Manage stress through meditation, visualization, and exercise.
5. Realize that feeling vulnerable is normal; it does not indicate a lack of ability to do something different.

For more information on courage, see this post.

The Benefits of Taking Notice

Fire ants - photo by Richard Becker

          Trail pheromones are a chemical secretion that leads members of a species towards a food source while also serving as a territorial marker. Many ants use such a chemical trail between their nest site and a source of food. Each colony carries a unique set of pheromones to communicate different messages; ants use their antennas to receive these messages. The initial trailblazer will leave secretions to alert others to their discovery. Ants will then recognize the chemical signal, follow the trail to the food, and renew the chemical mark on the way back to the nest. Once the food source is gone, the ants skip the renewal process and allow the pheromones to diffuse and weaken. 

          Eknath Easwaran wrote, "In everyday life, we are shaped by what gains our attention and occupies our thoughts." When we slow down and place our attention in the here and now, we have a chance to notice the joy and beauty hidden in the ordinary. As we observe the natural, inevitable course of impermanence, we come to understand how precious life is. We begin to notice small kindnesses and realize the effort at connection another person has made. Closely attending to these gifts can develop into a practice that will enrich our lives - gratitude. With experience, we mature beyond conventional gratitude and find things to appreciate in our challenges as well. Like the ant's trail, the evidence is there if we only take time to look for it.

For more information on gratitude, see this post. 

Healing the Hurt

Nuclear facility in France - photo by Tristan Nitot

          When a site has been contaminated due to heavy metals or radioactive waste, the most widely used remedy involves excavation, removal, and storage. Since available storage for tons of toxic material is limited, researchers have begun to look into phytoremediation. This method uses hyperaccumulators to clean up such contamination - plants that can absorb high concentrations of toxins into their leaves and stems. The plants are later harvested and incinerated; small amounts of ash can then be safely stored. Sunflowers have been useful in removing arsenic as well as radioactive isotopes. Basket willow has shown potential in extracting heavy metals like cadmium, zinc, and copper. Indian mustard can absorb lead, and water hyacinth can take up mercury. Rather than add further hurt to the environment, phytoremediation can help heal it.

          Anger is a normal reaction to a perceived injustice. Used as a positive motivating force with a calm mindset, it can create needed change. Yet instead of righting a wrong and creating the potential for reconciliation, anger often becomes an ongoing cycle of hatred, hurt and misery. To allow healing to begin, we must be aware of the toxic beliefs that perpetuate resentment. Here are some questions worth considering:

1) Is this actually an injustice, or simply a difference of opinion or way of doing things?

2) A surge of anger may leave us feeling briefly empowered, but is it covering a hidden fear that needs to be addressed?

3) Rage can seem like an efficient method to force change, yet doesn't it simply fuel animosity on both sides?

4) We may think our resentment will allow the other person to understand our hurt and pain, but wouldn't honest communication be a more effective approach?

5) A lack of forgiveness can appear to be a way to stand up for our rights and encourage self-respect; however, might self-compassion be a better choice if we're concerned about our well-being?          

For more information on forgiveness, see this post. 

Staying Grounded

Whooping cranes - photo by Jeff West

          In psychobiology, imprinting is a form of learning in which a very young animal fixes its attention on and thereafter follows another animal or object. While such a learning process can initially be valuable for survival, it can become problematic when it comes to recognizing an appropriate mate. In 1976, there were only about 100 whooping cranes left in the world. Conservationists thought they might save them from extinction if they could breed them in captivity and then reintroduce them into the wild. Their hopes relied on 'Tex,' a female crane hatched and hand-reared in the San Antonio Zoo. Unfortunately, Tex would have nothing to do with any of the male whooping cranes, because she had imprinted on her human caretakers. Only after crane expert George Archibald moved in and formed a bond with her did Tex lay her first egg. 

          Like the misguided crane, pride can cause us to take on a limited, confining identity that we get stuck defending. Rather than embrace self-awareness and self-acceptance, we attempt to create an illusion about who we are. As Thomas Merton explained, we "demand that others believe the lie we have made ourselves about ourselves." While this identity may manifest as arrogance with an air of superiority, it could make a more subtle appearance under the label of 'worse than.' In this case, we consider our struggles more difficult than those anyone else must face. Rather than taking on an identity forged by pride, we can release the need to be a certain way and become curious about our humanness. The Latin word from which 'humble' is derived is humilis, meaning 'on the ground.' Regardless of outward appearances, we all walk on the earth, not on water. On the inside, everyone wants to be loved, happy, safe and well. Through the practice of humility, we stay grounded and recognize our common humanity.

A Sticky Subject

Yellow garden spider - photo by Jill Spencer

          Researchers, supported by the National Science Foundation, have been studying the glue-like substance produced by orb-weaving spiders that make their webs sticky. The gummy material was found to be composed of entangled polymers, giving it a consistency that was both viscous and elastic. The substance is also water resistant; however, without humid conditions, it begins to lose its stickiness. Spiders apply drops to only the spiral threads of their web, leaving the spoke threads free of it. Orb-weavers have a nonstick coating on their legs that repels the polymers. When moving across the web, the spider touches it delicately, gripping the threads with a layer of hairs and claws on its feet. These weavers have evolved traits that keep them from becoming stuck in their own sticky trap.

          When it comes to giving freely - whether of time, attention or material resources - things can get sticky for most people. Jan Chozen Bays explained that although generosity lies within each of us, "it has been obscured by the inevitable wounds, duties, and worries of our busy lives." We may be self-absorbed with our own challenges, think we have nothing worthwhile to offer or fear to let go of what we have. Yet even a small, generous act can help reduce our fear and clinging. It allows us to remember our interconnection with the rest of the world. But perhaps the greatest consequence of generosity is that it helps us accept change. Our personal ability to let go will support us in adapting to the natural ebb and flow inherent in life.

For more information on generosity, see this post.

          

Wellspring of Well-Being

Rhesus monkey photo by Ed Jones

          Charles Darwin argued that "communities which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best." Are kindness and compassion natural responses rooted in biology? In 1964, The American Journal of Psychiatry published a study of altruistic behavior in rhesus monkeys. Researchers found that monkeys refused to pull a food delivery chain when they realized doing so caused a companion to receive an electric shock. Those who had been shocked previously were even less willing to pull the chain. The monkeys preferred to go hungry rather than inflict pain on each other.

          Emerging scientific studies seem to show that practicing kindness and compassion is an important factor in the well-being of humans. In a study led by Elizabeth Dunn and published in the journal Science, participants were given a sum of money. Half were asked to spend it on themselves, and the other half to spend it on others. The results of the research showed that those who spent money on others felt significantly happier than the group who spent it on themselves. Another study led by Lara Aknin across 136 countries found a similar outcome, regardless of a person's level of income or social support. UCLA medical researchers studying cellular inflammation discovered that it was not connected simply to one's level of happiness. Instead, participants whose happiness was based on a life of pleasure-seeking had high levels of inflammation while those who lives focused on purpose and acts of selflessness had low levels. It appears that these principles help the giver just as much or even more as the receiver.

For more information on kindness and compassion, see this post. 

Training in Trustworthiness

Photo by Victoria Standen

          A study led by researcher Akiko Takaoka and published in Animal Cognition found that dogs can easily discern whether a person is trustworthy. Experimenters pointed to where a container of food was hidden in the first round of the study (which the dogs readily ate). During the second round, the dogs were pointed toward another bowl which was found to be empty by the dogs. In the third round, experimenters pointed to a hidden, full bowl but were ignored by the dogs. When these experimenters were replaced, the dogs followed the pointing directive of the new person to the full bowl. Once a dog considers a human to be unreliable, it ignores the cues given. Dogs like predictability, and when things become inconsistent, they look for other alternatives.

          Like the human-dog relationship, we may unintentionally 'train' people to trust or distrust us. Charles H. Green - author, educator and business strategy consultant - found four variables that could determine whether others find us trustworthy:

          1) the credibility of our words

          2) the reliability of our actions

          3) the safety felt about entrusting us with something

          4) our self-orientation

Surprisingly, it is the fourth benchmark that carries the greatest weight. The more we focus on ourselves and what we want, the less trustworthy we are perceived. Yet the more we focus on the other person, their needs and how we might help, the more trustworthy we are seen by them. Making the welfare of others as much a priority as our own can change the dynamics in our relationships. 

For more information on trustworthiness, see this post.

  

Beyond the Obvious

Photo from Royalty Pecan Farms

          Moneymaker, Creek, Stuart, Desirable and Caddo are just a few names of the 500 plus varieties of pecans. Carya illinoinensis is a native of Mexico and the southern U.S. The native nuts, called 'seedlings,' can be bitter-tasting and are often small in size. The larger, sweeter nuts of pecan cultivars are frequently known as 'papershells,' because their nuts are easier to crack and shell. Pecan trees are similar in appearance; size and flavor of the nut as well as the thickness of the shell are used to distinguish one variety of pecan from another.

          Like sorting one pecan variety from the next, discernment requires looking beyond the superficial to perceive what is not always obvious. Humans have a tendency to put fixed labels on people or things based on our initial reaction to them. Our mind wants us to grab what is pleasant, get rid of the unpleasant, and ignore what we don't care about. We generalize from these reactions to other things and people that seem similar. But if we're going to be discerning, we need to take a closer look and put away our permanent markers. Everything in life is dynamic, fluctuating and changing. We might easily overlook marvels and insights because of the rigid labels we've attached. The alternative - discernment - draws on compassion and wisdom, allowing us to perceive each moment with unbiased clarity. 

For more information on discernment, see this post.

Awakening

Cicada photo by M.J. Raupp

          Periodic cicadas appear in great numbers during the spring after spending 13 or 17 years underground. They crawl to a vertical surface, shed their exoskeleton and dry their new wings. Adults only live for a few weeks, during which males sing in chorus to attract females. Once mating has occurred, females cut v-shaped slits in young twigs and lay approximately 20 eggs. The cicada eggs take about 4 to 6 weeks to hatch, then the newborn nymphs drop to the ground and burrow into the soil. There they spend over a decade in darkness, feeding on tree roots as they develop and wait to emerge into the light.

          Pema Chodron wrote, "The journey of awakening happens just at the place where we can't get comfortable." Pain brings many people into recovery, but the biggest obstacle in staying there is often our own self. The ego - an identity constructed around our beliefs, opinions and personal experiences - sees its purpose as a protector from all things that don't bring us enjoyment. But the walls it erects as protection also separate us from people and different perspectives that could offer us support and a life free from addiction. Yet through honesty, open-mindedness and willingness, we can begin to knock down those walls. Where we once felt alone, we now find a common bond with others. Listening to those who have been successful in recovery, we widen our views and learn new skills. Inventories give us clarity and insight; we recognize that we are responsible for our own peace of mind. As our self-involvement is replaced by a concern for others, we discover a new purpose - holding out the light of recovery for those searching for a way out of the darkness.

For more information on service, see this post.

Bypass or Bolster?

Glass squid - image from Oxford Scientific Films

          Ocean animals that live close to the sea floor can blend in with the sand and rocks or hide among the coral. Creatures that live close to the ocean's surface often use bioluminescence to produce displays of light; they trick predators into thinking what they see is dappled sunlight. But those who live in the middle - the pelagic zone - don't have these options. Yet some of these ocean creatures have a unique way of blending into their surroundings by being almost completely transparent. For instance, the glass squid lives between 200 to 1000 meters below sea level and is nearly completely see-through. These squids and other transparent ocean creatures have the ability to hide in plain sight.
          Like the glass squid, we all have periods when we'd prefer to hide from life rather than deal with it. Most of us used our addiction to change the way we felt or avoid what was happening around us. Prayer and meditation can aid us in developing spiritual maturity, allowing us to embrace life rather than run from it. But because humans have strong preferences for keeping things pleasant and comfortable, we might attempt to use these tools to bypass what is unpleasant and painful. Our prayers may focus on getting what we desire and evading what we fear. We could attempt to use meditation to transcend what unsettles us, hoping to stay in a permanent state of bliss. Rather than help us cultivate clarity, wisdom, compassion, and altruism, these tactics simply enable us to become more self-absorbed. Yet when we cease expecting a pay-out from prayer and meditation, we discover a way to live fully and serenely. We develop a clearer perspective of reality that opens rather than armors our heart and mind. 

For more information on prayer and meditation, see this post.

Surviving Arid Periods

Resurrection ferns - photo by B. King

          Among the upper branches of live oaks and other large trees in the southeastern U.S., small ferns are often seen growing. This tree dweller is the Polypodium polypodioides, commonly known as the resurrection fern. It is considered an epiphyte, meaning it derives moisture and nutrients from the rain and air. These plants use creeping rhizomes to anchor themselves to tree bark but do not damage their tree host. The fern's common name refers to its adaptive response to dry weather. It is able to survive a 97% loss of its water content without dying; the fern fronds counter by curling inward and turning brown. However, an increase in humidity or rainfall will cause the fern to uncurl and regain its green color.

          Like the tree ferns, we can go through 'droughts' in our recovery when the fizz of our enthusiasm goes stale and flat. What can we do to revive our commitment to our framework of principles and practices?

1. Nurture a few close friendships with people in recovery. We all need someone who will encourage us and give us honest feedback.

2. The knowledge and experience that we have can be shared with someone new on the path. Being a mentor means we'll have to practice what we teach.

3. Bodies need sufficient sleep, nutrition, and exercise. Without these, our energy level and mood will suffer.

4. Using what we enjoy can change drudgery to play. Combine a creative element (music, writing, art, craft, etc.) with the path of recovery.

5. Deepen the spiritual aspect of recovery through personal study and the application of spiritual tools.

6. Daily self-assessment checks can keep us aware of patterns in our thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Reflection on our interactions with others can show us where amends and forgiveness are needed.

7. A daily log of small joys experienced can turn the mind toward what is positive.

For more information on commitment, see this post.

A Win for Both Sides

Red-necked wallabies - photo by Steve Parish

          Conflicts, often aggressive, arise regularly among group-living animals over issues of food, mating opportunities or social status. Yet cohesion of the group is necessary if it is to cooperate in securing and protecting food sources, defending against predators and sharing information. Scientists have observed post-conflict behavior between members who clashed that engendered reconciliation. Chimpanzees tend to stay in close proximity after a fight, grooming and hugging each other. A study of red-necked wallabies showed a reduction in anxiety related behavior in both aggressor and victim after reconciling through play and grooming. Peace-making within these social groups maximizes the well-being of all its members.

          When thinking about amends, we might assume we're the 'loser' who must submit to whatever humiliation the offended person dishes out. But nothing could be further from the truth; as with the animal groups, both sides benefit from our attempt to repair a relationship. Open-hearted communication allows us to experience how a healthy, balanced connection with other people is sustained. This practice also gives us the opportunity to train with new skills: courage rather than fear, honesty instead of self-justification, and humility rather than arrogance or resentment. Regardless of how our amends are received, we will no longer need to avoid certain people or places because of shame. Restitution can help us rebuild our self-respect. Through this life-long process, we move from self-centeredness to sincerely considering the feelings and views of other people. It's a 'win' for both parties.

For more information on amends, see this post.