Healing the Hurt

Nuclear facility in France - photo by Tristan Nitot

          When a site has been contaminated due to heavy metals or radioactive waste, the most widely used remedy involves excavation, removal, and storage. Since available storage for tons of toxic material is limited, researchers have begun to look into phytoremediation. This method uses hyperaccumulators to clean up such contamination - plants that can absorb high concentrations of toxins into their leaves and stems. The plants are later harvested and incinerated; small amounts of ash can then be safely stored. Sunflowers have been useful in removing arsenic as well as radioactive isotopes. Basket willow has shown potential in extracting heavy metals like cadmium, zinc, and copper. Indian mustard can absorb lead, and water hyacinth can take up mercury. Rather than add further hurt to the environment, phytoremediation can help heal it.

          Anger is a normal reaction to a perceived injustice. Used as a positive motivating force with a calm mindset, it can create needed change. Yet instead of righting a wrong and creating the potential for reconciliation, anger often becomes an ongoing cycle of hatred, hurt and misery. To allow healing to begin, we must be aware of the toxic beliefs that perpetuate resentment. Here are some questions worth considering:

1) Is this actually an injustice, or simply a difference of opinion or way of doing things?

2) A surge of anger may leave us feeling briefly empowered, but is it covering a hidden fear that needs to be addressed?

3) Rage can seem like an efficient method to force change, yet doesn't it simply fuel animosity on both sides?

4) We may think our resentment will allow the other person to understand our hurt and pain, but wouldn't honest communication be a more effective approach?

5) A lack of forgiveness can appear to be a way to stand up for our rights and encourage self-respect; however, might self-compassion be a better choice if we're concerned about our well-being?          

For more information on forgiveness, see this post. 

Principles: Forgiveness

The following cards (#13-30) are additional spiritual principles and practices that can be essential in recovery.

Maple tree releasing a fall leaf

          Forgiveness can feel like we’re letting someone off a hook on which they should hang for all eternity. The irony is that the person actually hooked is the one filled with angry bitterness. Resentment is our greatest obstacle to joy. We operate under the delusion that by holding on to our anger, it will make us feel better, punish the offender, or somehow change what happened. A clear and honest look at our resentments will show evidence to the contrary. The hesitancy to forgive might be caused by misunderstandings about the process itself. Forgiveness means we accept the reality of what has happened and find a way to live peacefully with it. It requires courage and clarity, and it may begin with outrage and grief to honor our loss. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we condone what was done, nor do we have to allow it to happen again. How do we begin to release the rawness of such emotion? It is helpful to stop replaying the incident over and over in our head; such repetition only stokes the fire of anger. Meditation can be a beneficial tool in this regard. It is also useful to remember that there is an injury behind every wrong or shortcoming. We can understand this view by looking at our own faults and the conditions that shaped our subsequent decisions and actions. Acknowledging our own flaws may soften our heart, as we recognize the imperfection of all humans. Perhaps the most important thing to realize is that only in forgiveness we will find relief and peace.

Without forgiveness our lives are chained, forced to carry the sufferings of the past and repeat them with no release. 

~ Jack Kornfield

For more information on forgiveness, see this post.