Staying Grounded

Whooping cranes - photo by Jeff West

          In psychobiology, imprinting is a form of learning in which a very young animal fixes its attention on and thereafter follows another animal or object. While such a learning process can initially be valuable for survival, it can become problematic when it comes to recognizing an appropriate mate. In 1976, there were only about 100 whooping cranes left in the world. Conservationists thought they might save them from extinction if they could breed them in captivity and then reintroduce them into the wild. Their hopes relied on 'Tex,' a female crane hatched and hand-reared in the San Antonio Zoo. Unfortunately, Tex would have nothing to do with any of the male whooping cranes, because she had imprinted on her human caretakers. Only after crane expert George Archibald moved in and formed a bond with her did Tex lay her first egg. 

          Like the misguided crane, pride can cause us to take on a limited, confining identity that we get stuck defending. Rather than embrace self-awareness and self-acceptance, we attempt to create an illusion about who we are. As Thomas Merton explained, we "demand that others believe the lie we have made ourselves about ourselves." While this identity may manifest as arrogance with an air of superiority, it could make a more subtle appearance under the label of 'worse than.' In this case, we consider our struggles more difficult than those anyone else must face. Rather than taking on an identity forged by pride, we can release the need to be a certain way and become curious about our humanness. The Latin word from which 'humble' is derived is humilis, meaning 'on the ground.' Regardless of outward appearances, we all walk on the earth, not on water. On the inside, everyone wants to be loved, happy, safe and well. Through the practice of humility, we stay grounded and recognize our common humanity.

Principles: Humility

The following cards (#13-30) are additional spiritual principles and practices that can be essential in recovery.

A rose, daisy and dandelion flower

          When we are humble, we feel neither inferior nor superior to another person. Humility sits in the middle of two extremes, with arrogance at one end and unworthiness at the other. Arrogance causes us to think our time, energy and opinions are more valuable than those of anyone else. We feel as if we should take center stage, talk as much as we want, and be given leeway in whatever we do. The other extreme is no closer to humility; a label of worthlessness keeps us from speaking up or taking an active role that could be constructive. Humility requires that we take up an appropriate amount of space, not just physically but in all areas. For instance, we create space for others during a conversation when we listen instead of only talk. There are ways we can move closer to the center point of humility instead of remaining at an extreme. For those of us full of pride, we take the focus off of ourselves by sincerely looking for superior qualities in other people (such as honesty, friendliness, etc.). For those of us who feel unworthy, we can stop comparing ourselves to other people. Instead, we can use our own progress as our yardstick. There are benefits to developing the trait of humility:

• Being humble allows us to consider other viewpoints, which can lead to a greater understanding of the truth.
• Being humble helps us become more tolerant and accepting of those who perceive the world differently than we do.
• Being humble brings a greater sense of inner peace; we don’t get frustrated by unrequited entitlement or resentful because of envy. We feel grateful for what we do have.

Humility frees us up to use all our gifts and talents to the best of our abilities by enabling us to accept our limitations and vulnerabilities as well as our strengths. With humility we can enjoy our achievements without unnecessary ego-inflation or -deflation; we are neither full of ourselves nor do we pick ourselves apart. And being humble doesn't mean that we stop trying to better ourselves. We are all works in progress!

~ Estelle Frankel