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Showing posts with label contentment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label contentment. Show all posts

Monday, May 21, 2018

Searching for Nectar that Satisfies

Photo from National Geographic Kids

          What makes a garden desirable to a honey bee? These bees depend on pollen for most of their protein and nectar for carbohydrates in their diet. Single-flowered blooms (like daisies and marigolds) produce much more pollen and nectar than the showier double-flowered blooms (in which stamens have been transformed into extra petals). Hybridized plants aren’t as beneficial because they produce very little pollen or nectar. Honey bees are especially attracted to white, blue, yellow and violet blooms, as well as flowers with a shorter corolla (which makes it easier to reach the nectar). These bees will only visit a single type of flower on each trip from the hive (a trait known as ‘floral fidelity’), so they often seek out patches of identical flowers. 
          In Zen Buddhism, it is said that there are five desires: for food, for sex, for sleep, for comfort, and for reputation. These desires are natural and driven by our instinct to survive. Yet often these desires get mistakenly fused with a longing for happiness, and we become obsessed with them. This craving convinces us if we can just get this particular thing, life will be wonderful and perfect. Even when we do manage to get what was desired, we soon realize we’ve expended a lot of energy for a short-lived pleasure. The sage Shantideva likened this behavior to an ox that pulls a heavy load for only a mouthful of hay. The solution to ending this cycle of suffering is not to eliminate our desires but to change our relationship to them. If we can see through the fantasy of ‘happy ever after,’ we can enjoy moments of pleasure without expectations. As Ezra Bayda explained, “happiness comes from the inside; it cannot depend on our external life circumstances. Nor can it depend on simply feeling good emotionally. In short, happiness doesn’t come from making happiness the goal – it comes from being able to appreciate the journey, particularly the present-moment experience of our life.”

For more information on contentment, see this post.

Sunday, November 26, 2017

Principles: Contentment

The following cards (#13-30) are additional spiritual principles and practices that can be essential in recovery.
Lion enjoying a sunny day

          Most of us constantly crave something we think will bring us satisfaction, but once we obtain it, we quickly lose interest. We immediately begin chasing the next pleasure in hopes that this time it will produce lasting happiness. The allure of the material world is endless, yet it can never fill the inner void we find inside. The problem is not material things themselves, but the way we try to use them. An enduring feeling of peaceful satisfaction is an attitude that comes from a spiritual focus rather than a material one. Here are some suggestions to cultivate contentment in our lives: 
  • Go outdoors – An appreciation of nature can have a calming effect. The seasons remind us that change is a normal part of life. What else can we observe and learn from the natural world today?
  • Arrange priorities – Write a list with needs (essentials) at the top and wants (nonessentials) at the bottom. Do we have what we truly need?
  • Recognize freedom of choice – We have a choice about what we dwell on and how we spend our time. When doing a task we don’t enjoy, we can keep our mind on the activity itself instead of where we’d prefer to be. Helping others (in whatever way we can) is a sure way to shift the focus from our own discontent to a more positive place. Do our thoughts and activities nurture our spirit or leave us feeling empty and restless?
  • Live in the present – Expectations that never materialize can set us up for frustration and create anxiety about the future. Do we dwell in the past, the present or the future?
  • Talk to others – Deep communication with people we trust can give us a feeling of belonging; they can help us be aware of the resources we have. Is our focus on what we lack or what we have?

It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it. 
~ Dale Carnegie