Principles: Acceptance

The following cards (#13-30) are additional spiritual principles and practices that can be essential in recovery.

Sandcastle being overpowered by an ocean wave

          “Two Arrows” is a Buddhist discourse that teaches pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. What in the world does this mean? The first arrow represents the distress we experience as an unavoidable, natural part of living. Everyone eventually deals with such things as loss, sickness, and grief in this ever-changing world. The second arrow signifies the mental suffering we create when we refuse to accept this reality. We react as if the situation should not be happening or have happened; we demand that things be different than they are. As a result, we may be consumed by self-pity, fear, anger or despair. The more we resist or fight what we don’t have the power to change, the more we add to our original pain. Life may have hit us with the first arrow, but we shoot ourselves with the second one. An option that won’t increase our pain is acceptance – we become receptive to our experience without feeling uniquely targeted. We adopt a realistic humility and realize that unfortunate and unpleasant events happen to everyone, not just us. We can then deal with the emotions caused by the actual event without increasing our misery. Our focus is freed from unproductive chaos and drama to how we can compassionately care for all those affected.

When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100% of the time.

~ Byron Katie