Surrender's Doorway

photo by Ewa Krzyszczyk with Shark Bay Dolphin Project

          In 1984, researchers noticed dolphins doing something unusual in a Western Australian bay. These mammals would dive down, rip a basket sponge from the sea floor and wear it over their beaks like a hand in a glove. Further observation helped scientists realize these dolphins were protecting themselves from injury as they probed the ocean floor for bottom-dwelling fish. They noticed the use of the sponge was a method passed on by females to their daughters (though males often learned too). Researchers believe that because of the pressures of raising a calf for four to five years, female dolphins needed an easier way to hunt. Since other dolphins primarily used echolocation to find fish in the water, the sponge technique gave mother dolphins a reliable yet overlooked food source. 
          Surrender involves being open to a different way of doing things. If we are to stop the repetition of our unhealthy behavior, we must give up the illusion that our management techniques have been effective. Rather than being resigned to our fate, we look for a mentor with a solution - a person or group to guide us. Who or what they are isn't as important as the doorway to sanity they offer us. This guide should be trustworthy: someone who takes the time to explain this path and actively lives it. Their success gives us hope that we too can learn to use new tools and break the cycle of addiction. Once we're willing to sincerely listen to another approach, we'll find ourselves on the other side of that doorway.

To find more information about surrender, see this post.

Surrender

Oak seedling beneath an oak tree

          Surrender may seem as appetizing as a fuzz-covered lollipop. Yet it doesn’t involve simply giving up but finding a way out. What we surrender are the strategies, rationalizations and manipulations we’ve used to battle our habit with no positive results. It should be obvious: our greatest solutions often turned our problem into an even greater predicament. If we do decide to give up our methods, who then do we surrender to? The wise choice would be someone who has more knowledge and experience in this area than us. Look for evidence that their approach has worked well in his or her life; watch for signs of joy, equanimity and contentment that aren’t temporarily produced by unhealthy behavior. This mentor could be a person in recovery, a support group of some kind, a therapist or a religious/spiritual organization.  If they have found a doorway to freedom, they can point the way for us too.

Life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice. 

~ Maya Angelou

For more information on surrendering, see this post.